Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Last night I was talking with my mother-in-law. She said she was at her Mom's house and they were flicking through some photo's of about 2-3 years ago. "You were so so skinny! You were tiny. Your legs and arms were so thin" she said... "Mom was like... M has put on weight since being married! And I agreed. Oops I wasn't supposed to tell you that, I hope you're not offended honey". Then proceeded to change the subject and act nice.

What the hell?!

I put on about 7-10Lb's in the first six months of being married. Its all evened out now and I've stayed the same for about a year. But please... who says that?! I would never say that to anyone! I know I'm not super skinny anymore. I'm a slim, normal weight (I think!). I don't need to be told those things. My cute skinny Lee jeans don't fit nicely anymore (muffintop!). I had to buy some new jeans. There - enough said - I realise things have changed, I don't need to be told. I'm 5'4". 7Lb's is noticable! But I'm fine with that usually. I'm happy being healthy and not super skinny.

I was so mad. I felt like saying "well, I'm not on diet pills like you were in the 80's... and you try moving country, leaving your friends/family/life - adjust to getting married - all in 3 months. See if you don't do some emotional eating also, and put on a few". Aagghh! I think I did pretty well actually. 7Lb's... (3-4kg) since those photo's - thats not a lot right?!

Maybe I'm overreacting. But it hit a sore spot I guess. No woman likes to be told those things. Especially by their Mother in Law! The nerve huh.

I'm not usually a sensitive person. But that was a dumb thing to say.


enc said...

Ugh. How horrible to hear that. I'm so sorry!

From the sound of it, your mother-in-law realized she had her foot in her mouth, and hurriedly avoided any more discomfort by changing the topic.

I know you're not asking my opinion, but I'll give it anyway: You did the right thing NOT responding to her. If you had, it would have been a source of discomfort for who knows how long.

Believe me, she's already very uncomfortable.

Tea Lady said...

You're right Enc. For the most part we get on pretty well. It hurt at the time. But a day later... I'm over it.

Its Just Me - Daring to Dream said...

Yeah, extremely politcally incorrect. During my NY vacation, my friend took out pictures of our vacatio in 95. She had the same "you were soo skinny" comment to me, and I realized I had gained possibly 15 lbs since then. She said she likes me with more weight, but for 2 years after marriage I ate what I craved from depression of inlaws and a miserable location of living...oh well, you have to love yourself and ignore people's comments about weight. Your body, your life, your happiness...ignore her!

Elisabeth said...

Urgh; we've all been on the end of those unwanted comments before!

Anonymous said...

One word needed: SHEEEEEEEESH!!!! That's not right dude! You're gorgeous!

Miss R, who feels your pain and is a little angry for you.

Preppy in the City said...

That is so rude! My MIL would totally do the same thing. She told my best friend at my wedding, who was pregnant at the time, that "she was wearing that baby all over!" Who says that! She says stupid things like this all of the time. Drives me crazy!

apricot tea. said...

Oh, someone would have gotten slapped if they said that to me...

Actually, I'm lying. I get that all the time from my FATHER (of all people) & I usually laugh it off. While I hate the remarks, I hate fighting fire with fire more. Or maybe I'm just passive aggressive. ;/

Tea Lady said...

Thanks for the righteous indignation on my behalf! Funny how venting, and feeling like people understand helps eh?!